All About Love – Unpacking the L Word

Heart of Imagery Painting
"Heart Shines On", acrylic on canvas, 16"x20" by Lisa Chu
Why is "love" such a hot button word for so many of us? It seems we remain as divided with respect to this word as we are on so many other issues. There are "hopeless romantics" and there are "anti-Valentine's" party hosts. There are those who sprinkle the word "love" over every communication with strangers or friends, and there are those who use it sparingly, like precious strands of saffron reserved only for the finest occasion.   We never said the word "love" in our house, so during my childhood, I formed the belief that something was missing from my experience compared to the outer world of suburban midwestern America I lived in. We didn't talk like the characters on The Brady Bunch. The emotions expressed in my family were much more raw, more volatile, so close to the surface and not easily contained. The love I experienced was unrelenting, filled with the need to protect me from constant imminent danger, and would never let me off the hook. Over a lifetime of accumulating ideas of what love is - from what I was told, from what I experienced, and from what I imagined - I decided, other-than-consciously, that it was not safe to love fully. Continue reading "All About Love – Unpacking the L Word"

Exercise Your Write To Be Free

Photo by Jeffrey James Pacres https://www.flickr.com/photos/jjpacres/
Photo by Jeffrey James Pacres https://www.flickr.com/photos/jjpacres/
I rarely share client stories, but a recent experience is birthing a whole new way of working for me. I just finished a 30-day writing experiment with a physician client who is just starting out on a brand new path. Having already found the courage to leave his medical practice and head into the open space of the unknown, we worked on rekindling a secret dream he's held for a long time, maybe his whole life: writing. He always wanted to try writing, but never did because he had a belief it was too impractical and was no way to make a living. Yet he knew he had stories to share, and ones that would help others if he did. I wanted to hear these stories myself. I was curious what touched him so deeply about his experiences in medicine. I knew that in hearing these stories, we could both experience a healing journey. So I came up with this idea, which I had never done with a client before: a writing experiment. The assignment was to write daily for ten minutes a day, thirty days in a row. Then send that writing to me, which I read every day. Mostly we let the process run itself, but we had two phone conversations during the month, once to check in and then again to review the entire process. I knew that a small, daily commitment done over a sustained period of time would lead to something. A new habit at the very least. An awakened sense of hope and creativity I envisioned as possible. What I didn't expect was the vast territory we would cover in those ten minutes of daily writing each day. Not only did I learn from my client's deep minings that occurred from this type of reflection, but I heard accounts of key moments, important feelings, and long-held beliefs that it might have taken months to get to with traditional weekly phone coaching calls. In timed writing, you get to the heart of the matter quickly. You can try to dance around, squirm a bit, but the hand keeps moving and the clock keeps ticking, and something gets said that has juice to it, even if at the very end. And when you have a curious, compassionate witness, who wants to hear more, and will ask you questions and deliver you the next prompt to inspire more writing, it unfolds with surprising beauty. Continue reading "Exercise Your Write To Be Free"

Write To Be Free: The 30-Day Writing Experiment

Write To Be Free

THE PREMISE:

When we let go of judgment, everything is possible. Experience a whole new way of writing, which combines meditative flow, nonjudgmental presence, and the opportunity for greater self-understanding. Combined with compassionate witnessing without expectation of praise or criticism, this experience awakens your creativity and expands the possibilities for your life and your writing. Develop and nurture a new habit of daily writing that will set you free, whether you are a seasoned or beginning writer. This individualized, one-on-one mentoring program is not about the craft or product of writing, but about discovering what flows through you onto the page when you are free of concepts about what writing has to be.

THE PURPOSE:

  • Begin to experience moving beyond rules and agendas; creating in spite of doubts, worries, and concerns
  • Sharing work that is not “perfect”; practicing trust in what flows from your own hand
  • Experiencing the safety of knowing there is no grading, no critiquing, no editing, no comparing; only witnessing without judgment
  • Exploring a new process for initiating creative flow
  • Exploring what happens when your pen begins to move and you have a non-critical, supportive audience
Life altering experience

THE PRACTICE:

  • Decide on a time of day that you can consistently set aside for your writing (e.g., first thing in the morning, last thing before bed, lunchtime...whatever works)
  • Have a separate notebook or a folder in your computer for this writing only
  • Set a timer for 10 minutes
  • When the timer starts, your hand begins to move across the page (or type, if you're using a keyboard). You don't stop, you don't edit, you don't reread what you wrote. You "lose control" for those 10 minutes.
  • When the timer stops, your writing stops.
  • If your flow is strong, you can continue on a different page for as long as you want. But for the PRACTICE, it is important to have a container for your 10 minutes of writing, and to acknowledge yourself for doing that 10 minutes each day that you do it.
  • Do not read your writing immediately. At this point, you send it to me. I will read everything you send, but I will respond in writing only once a week.
  • The nature of my responses will be sharing my experience as a human being receiving your stories, images, and process. I will let you know what I am curious about, and what I want to hear more of. My responses will NOT be edits, critiques on how you might improve, or suggestions for how to publish your work.
  • In our phone conversations, we will discuss your process, what you are discovering, and anything else that comes up.

THE MAGIC:

Ah, there's that. The magic comes from both of us being fully present in this commitment together. When I read something you've written, it may inspire something in me that I want to share - a story, a quote, something I've experienced and learned from. I am free to share that with you during this process, at the right time for you. And this timing makes all the difference in the world, I believe.  You can read stacks and stacks of books, go through programs filled with great wisdom, and attend workshops and retreats from the best teachers, but knowing when to apply the right lesson for you is the art of it all. This process facilitates the art of being present, and all the creative flow that comes from that presence. And that applies to both of us.

THE EXPERIMENT:

  • A daily, 10-minute writing practice for 30 days
  • Weekly written responses from me (never an auto responder, always individualized)
  • One-on-one mentoring and individualized feedback:
    • One 20-minute phone check-in after the first week
    • One 50-minute phone conversation during week three or four of the process
Whole New World

This program is for you if:

  • you’ve always secretly wanted to write, but never set aside the time because it didn’t seem “practical” or possible…
  • you’re a regular journal writer and writing is your mode of processing, but you never considered sharing your stream of consciousness with another person…
  • you write for a living, but have little time or space to write without any agenda. It’s time for a creative boost or to explore a new direction with your writing…
  • you don’t consider yourself a “writer” but this sounds like an exciting and safe way to dip your toe in the water with a compassionate witness…
  • you’re going through a life transition, experiencing lots of different emotions that are hard to put into words right now, and would like to achieve some clarity…
  • you’ve just made a big life decision and it feels slightly scary. Some support right now would be welcome as you navigate uncharted territory…

THE TIMING - 2014:

Writing Day #1 - October 15, 2014

Writing Day #30 - November 13, 2014

Individual phone check-in (20 minutes) #1 - Week of October 20, 2014

Individual phone coaching session (50 minutes) - Week of November 3 or 10, 2014

*Note: Additional 30-day programs to be offered in 2015:

February 2 - March 3, 2015

April 1 - 30, 2015

...and stay tuned for others!

INVESTMENT:

$1,295 paid in full -or- two payments (billed 30 days apart) of $695 Special offer for previous coaching clients: $895 or two payments (billed 30 days apart) of $495

Ready to begin?

Apply now! Here's how: 1. Do your first 10-minute writing exercise. Need a prompt? Ask me. I'd love to send you one! 2. Send it to me. You can scan or take a photo of your handwritten pages, and attach it to an email. 3. Book your phone interview to make sure this is a good fit for you, and to answer any last-minute questions you may have. Please send your writing to me at least 24 hours before your scheduled phone appointment. Once we're set to go, you will receive an email from me one week before the start of the writing experiment. Note: The 30-day writing experiment starts on October 15, 2014.

New Year New Vision PLAYshop

Collage CROPPED

Sunday, January 12, 2014

1pm to 4pm

731 Main Street, Half Moon Bay, CA (Coastside Photography Studio)

What will you create in 2014?

In this PLAYshop, we will combine Energy Principles and the Power of Authentic Intentions to create your own Vision Board ARTifact. Launch your New Year Vision for your living space, your relationships, your business, your health, your dreams...anything you deeply desire to invite into your life! All supplies necessary to make your ARTifact (Vision Board) will be provided. You are welcome to bring:
  • 3 to 5 magazines that inspire you
  • Photos or other objects to incorporate in your board
  • Art supplies you would like to use

Fee: $40

$30 Limited Income*

$75 Supporter**

*Limited Income spots are offered with generosity to those whose current financial situation precludes payment of the standard fee. **If you would like to support future offerings of Limited Income pricing or scholarships for programs by The Music Within Us, please consider participating at the Supporter level. Credit cards accepted with 3% additional surcharge.

RSVP: (650) 325-2194 or email

Download the flyer here.

How is your relationship with Not Knowing?

"Not Knowing is most intimate..." - Zen saying
Mavericks Labyrinth with sky
This is a note for you. You are such a good student, when there's a teacher standing in front of the class, and other students surrounding you, all learning to do the same things. You are a stellar worker, always taking responsibility for your job, above and beyond the call of duty. You take instructions quickly, correct your mistakes diligently, and do everything you can to get along with others. You are smart, capable, successful, but still feel there's something missing from your life, even though you can't quite name it. So what is it? What is that missing thing? I don't know. But I'm willing to bet that your relationship with Not Knowing could use a little tune-up. A little checking in and refamiliarizing. Continue reading "How is your relationship with Not Knowing?"

Can you really take a day off?

There was a time when I believed - when I was totally convinced - that I could not take a day off. Maybe it was the example of my parents, whom I saw work tirelessly every single day, never letting go of the responsibilities of their jobs, and never taking a day off unless they were absolutely required to (and by that I mean, being so sick they had to be admitted to the hospital). Or maybe it was medical school, where I learned by working alongside residents and fellows who would regularly show up to work sick, because they "couldn't take a day off". On one rotation, I recall the vascular surgery fellow being so rundown from flu-like symptoms that he had to dash out of the operating room to throw up in the scrub sink during a procedure he was performing. I watched wide-eyed and took everything in, my mind drawing the conclusion that "people with important jobs can never take a day off". I became determined to find work that would enable me to take a day off, and still be considered important. The problem was, I really had no idea what was truly important to me. I had many concepts that had been implanted by messages from my family, from images in movies and advertisements, and from the culture in which I was living. "What's important" was a moving target, a reaction to whatever "everyone else" appeared to be doing. Meanwhile, in my heart I knew that I wanted to make a difference in this world, to care about something genuinely, and to share my story somehow in this life. But the only way I knew - based on what I had seen, learned, and been taught - was to put my head down and work. I worked hard at everything I did. I didn't take many days off. When I did, I remember feeling an odd combination of freedom and loss.
"Who am I without my email inbox full of requests and my voicemail full of messages?" "Who am I when I am not answering to anyone else?" "What would I choose to do if I had an entire day with no obligations, no one telling me where to be or what I had to do?"
Continue reading "Can you really take a day off?"

The many ways to say, “You CAN do it!” – reprint from Truth Love Beauty

Today I'm reprinting a blog post I wrote over a year ago, on my Truth Love Beauty blog. It resonates with me right now, which is comforting. The truth has a way of standing the test of time. It also reminds me of a topic I have not talked about on this blog - the observations and lessons I learned from teaching violin to more than 30 toddlers in the Silicon Valley for five and a half years. These descriptions bring me back to a time that was filled with joys and challenges, and ultimately catalyzed a whole new way of being and learning for me. Here it is: Does all the woo-woo, positive psychology, self-help talk make you feel a little queasy or, at best, skeptical? Does an email with the subject line, “You can do it!”, make you want to “Report spam” faster than you can hit “Delete”? When I worked with parents and their children in a coaching/teaching environment, I learned that there are many ways we adults try to encourage our kids. We all have a default style of communication that is a product of the various influences in our lives – our own parents, our many teachers, our older siblings, our bosses, our mentors, or even a conglomeration of all the ways we DON’T want to be like any of those people. What I’ve learned about effective coaching I first saw by watching children who were actually allowed to learn. It’s simple: all a kid wants is to know what it feels like to try, and to know that they’ll be OK if they fail. If you give them those two things, they’ll try over and over again with great enthusiasm, and pretty soon (or maybe a lot later) they will succeed. Continue reading "The many ways to say, “You CAN do it!” – reprint from Truth Love Beauty"

What I just won’t buy anymore

I was reading the website of a prominent life coach the other day, and was feeling myself getting seduced by the promise of change. For me, this feeling is a little tug in my chest, accompanied by a little voice that says, "You could be like her! Why don't you just try harder? You could be successful like that! You can have everything you want in your life! Just try harder!" I was getting pulled in by her clarity, and her certainty, and her artfully written course descriptions and "How I Work With You" page. I was dreaming of what my life would like if only I were “as on top of things as she was”. I was reading through her punchy blog posts, which boiled everything down into three simple categories, a numerical scale, and a "toolkit" for achieving the state of bliss that she has apparently created for herself. In her "About" page, where she introduces herself and tells her story of why she became a coach, she talks about "having been there". Having been broke, miserable, in a rocky marriage, and not living her best life. Continue reading "What I just won’t buy anymore"

Have you heard? I’m offering Name Your Price Coaching

I have this thing about repeating myself. In this Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/e-mail/YouTube day and age, there is no shortage of ways to "get the message out there". I'm never quite sure who is reading what, or when. And frankly, most of it feels like I'm repeating myself. Or scattering seeds into the wind, with no idea where they will land. I've surrendered to these facts: I will do what I can to keep putting my message out there. People will do what they can to receive the message when they are ready. And I forgive myself for repeating the message over and over again. Continue reading "Have you heard? I’m offering Name Your Price Coaching"

Announcing…Bad Asian Daughter!

Last week I started a brand new blog called Bad Asian Daughter: http://badasiandaughter.com. I came up with the idea and bought the url months ago, and even had a first attempt over at wordpress with http://badasiandaughter.wordpress.com. This time, I knew what the message was going to be, and tumblr.com provides the best format for creating short, frequent posts in a variety of media - video, quotes, text, and my favorite, chats (sharing conversations in a screenplay-like format). My intention is to create an inspiring, healing community for Asian American women who have tried their whole lives to be "good", done everything they were supposed to do, achieved success in the forms they were told to, and still find something missing in their lives. Together we will discover all of who we are, and unlock the keys to our own unconditional joy, peace, and freedom....B.A.D.ness and all. Continue reading "Announcing…Bad Asian Daughter!"