How To Practice True Self-Confidence

Inviting Mystery
Inviting Mystery
Here’s my definition of true self-confidence. I’m so over the days of being in a classroom and each of us painting our own “version” of what the teacher wants us to paint. We are told that this kind of imitation – producing something that looks “as good as” what we are told is a “masterpiece” – is what we should be striving for. That we should practice for mastery as it is defined by the experts. I disagree. I’m interested in the kind of self-confidence that comes from facing the blank page, the open space, the silence, the void. Where there is no map. Only your body, your breath, your instincts, and your wild-eyed awareness. Only by choosing to “go there” – to show up in territory that is uncharted for you – can you experience what I’m talking about here. For me, it requires venturing outside my zones of mastery and wondering what it’s like to be a novice. I never sang, so I explored what my voice could do with sound. I never painted, so I played with brushes and paper and colors. I bring back the lessons of these experiences to the areas of my life where I may be stagnating in my attachment to being “good at it”. When was the last time you stood at the edge of your comfort zone, and faced the open space? When was the last time you took a step into that open space, truly not knowing where it would lead? Each time you give yourself this kind of opportunity, you discover your relationship with fear, and you have the chance to see and accept yourself as you are. Continue reading "How To Practice True Self-Confidence"

SoulBodyMind Salon Series

Have you ever wanted to move from overwhelm to ease?

To move out of confusion and into clarity?

Or to move from idea to action?

Each of these transformations is a form of healing of the soul, the body, and the mind. I combine these three realms into one word – SoulBodyMind – because I believe when we impact one, we impact all. Becoming fluent in the languages of your own SoulBodyMind will connect you with an internal guidance system that is always working for you. I’m pleased to announce that I’ll be hosting this first series of SoulBodyMind Salons in my home in Half Moon Bay. In this SoulBodyMind Salon series, I invite you to join me in the spirit of generosity as I share stories and teach practical tools that will deepen your fluency in SoulBodyMind language - a language you were born with, but perhaps were never encouraged to listen to. The information and tools are grounded in the intersection of ancient wisdom traditions and cutting-edge neuroscience research. We will practice the tools together, and you will leave with the knowledge to bring this new literacy into your life. Each session has a theme and will include access to further resources if you would like to learn more.

What We’ll Do:

We'll open the salon with everyone in the room introducing themselves to the group. I'll introduce the theme with a brief presentation (I promise to tell lots of stories and use lots of metaphors!). We’ll practice the tools together and discuss our experiences - you'll make new connections within yourself and with others in the room. A few lucky, brave volunteers may even get coached in front of the group. Everyone will leave with something new to begin practicing in your own life! I will also share resources and reading list for further learning. Guaranteed learning, play, and connection!

Donation-based event. This means it is offered with generosity and is supported by the generosity of all participants. Please consider what your personal offer will be to support this event.

Four Tuesdays - 7:30pm to 9:30pm

In my home, Half Moon Bay, California. Address provided when you RSVP. You can attend any salon individually OR the entire series.

Dec. 11 - Your Body’s Truth

Learn to make friends with your body and start trusting the messages it’s sending you. Discover a whole new way to make decisions, check your gut instinct, trim your “To Do” list, and access more energy.

Jan. 15 – The Garden in Your Mind

Move the dirt and plant the seeds for what you really want to grow in your life. It all starts with the thoughts you believe. Get ready to roll up your sleeves, start digging, and selecting the varietals of your dreams that you will cultivate and harvest after the growing season.

Feb. 12 – The Art of Soul-Care

Learn the art of nourishing and honoring your soul, in small daily doses or at lavish feasts. No matter what your circumstances, you can feed your soul and experience completeness right now.

Mar. 12 – Listening With Your Whole SoulBodyMind

Expand your experience of daily life by tuning in to the SoulBodyMind. Envision your SoulBodyMind’s most truthful expression, and take actions from that place of knowing.

How To RSVP

You may attend any of the salons on a drop-in basis. Attendance at all four salons will provide a powerful foundation in your own SoulBodyMind language. Please call (650) 325-2194 or email me for more information or to register. Address will be provided when you RSVP by phone or email. Download the flyer>>

News news news

"One day you finally knew what you had to do, and began" - Mary Oliver, "The Journey"
Today is that day for me. Maybe it was the flyer announcing my talk at Stanford Medical School in a few weeks (finally making it feel real...and making me feel proud of the creative thinking I've been doing on this subject). Maybe it was seeing the pile of STUFF in my house, moved out of the Cradle of Manifestation, prompting me to revisit what's really taking up the space in my drawers and closets. Maybe it was the invitation to have dinner this Friday with a couple of doctors who have transitioned out of medicine themselves (making me feel one step closer to finding My People). Maybe it was finally telling the truth out loud to myself and to a compassionate witness about what I feel in my heart (and experiencing the expansion that came with it). Maybe it was all of the above. Whatever it was, I finally know what I need to do, even though I have no idea how it's going to play out or if anyone will even care. But I know enough to trust this particular feeling of knowing. It's not a rational linear mind kind of knowing. It's a whole body energy clearing kind of knowing. And I can't wait to share the news with you!

So what IS new? Continue reading "News news news"

Love Hurts…Is It True? A Few Things I Once Learned About Love…And How I’m Unlearning Them

Have you ever thought about how you learned what love means? What moments in your life explicitly taught you how to love? What examples of love did you observe, and what did you unconsciously learn from them? For most of my life, I have had a murky understanding of the words "love" and "compassion". They were abstract concepts, which I felt no bodily connection to. They were supposed to be good things that good people expressed and felt all of the time, but I had no clue what they felt like to me. "I love you" was not something ever uttered in my household. As far as I know, the phrase doesn't exist in the Chinese language, at least as it applies to families. For most of my life, "love" was a word used by my parents to rationalize their financial anxiety, anger, worry, asking for too much information, and criticizing. "If we didn't love you and care about you, we wouldn't bother to nag you so much," they'd say in defense of themselves. Continue reading "Love Hurts…Is It True? A Few Things I Once Learned About Love…And How I’m Unlearning Them"

Physician Burnout and Wellness Resources

My take on physician burnout focuses on self-empowerment and witnessed self-inquiry to create a personal definition of physician wellness. There are many academic journal papers outlining the symptoms, prevalence, and possible explanations for physician burnout at every stage of medical training and continuing through practicing physicians mid-career. Here are a few of my favorites:

Mid-Career Burnout in Generalist and Specialist Physicians

Medical Student Burnout and Unprofessional Conduct

Mindfulness Intervention For Primary Care Physician Burnout

Depression and Suicidal Ideation Among Medical Students

Interview with Dr. Laura Roberts on Medical Student Depression and Distress

The blogosphere contains lively discussions on the subject of medical student and physician burnout. For example:

Physician burnout in residency

How physician burnout impacts patient care

Primary care physicians burnout and health care reform

New York Times article on medical student burnout and challenge to patient care

FREE recordings from my "Get the 411 Before It's a 911" coaching calls for medical students, residents, & fellows (also valuable for practicing, mid-career physicians):

Coaching Call #1 - I work with a practicing physician on the stressful thoughts of being on call.

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Coaching Call #2 - 5 Principles of Self-Care for Caring Professionals

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Coaching Call #3 - Creative Leadership for physicians

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Coaching Call #4 - Boundaries, Self-Care Principle #1 for Physicians

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Coaching Call #5 - Reactive to Creative Mode, Self-Care Principle #2 for Physicians

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FREE episodes of "Revolutionizing Medicine...One Belief At A Time" podcast - examining the commonly held stressful thoughts among physicians:

Episode 1 - "I need to take care of my patients."

Episode 2 - "I am surrounded by illness and suffering."

Episode 3 - "Patients demand my time."

Episode 4 - "People need me to respond."

Blog posts I've written:

Why I Created "Self-Care For The Caring Professional" Online Course

5 Principles of Self-Care for Caring Professionals

Doctors On The Brink Of Burnout: The Way I See It

Who Is Responsible For Physician Burnout?

Creativity: A Prescription For Doctors

Diagnosis: Human

BUY the book, Physicians In Transition, including 25 interviews with physicians who have made the transition away from clinical careers and created the life of their dreams! I am included on page 27!

Want to learn more and get "virtual coaching" on this subject?

ENROLL in my online course, "The Art of Self-Care Primer". 21-day online interactive course takes you through each of the Principles of Self-Care (outlined in Coaching Call #2 above) in greater depth, including daily exercises that you can incorporate into your life. You complete the activities at your own pace, and have access to all materials after the course is completed! More info here>>

AHA’s “Simple 7″…Not So Simple After All

The other night I read on the back of a friend's T-shirt the following list of guidelines from the American Heart Association (AHA)'s latest heart-healthy lifestyle campaign, called "Life's Simple 7":
  • get active
  • control cholesterol
  • eat better
  • manage blood pressure
  • lose weight
  • reduce blood sugar
  • stop smoking
From my medical training, I recognized each of these 7 items as addressing the major risk factors for coronary artery disease and therefore heart attacks and strokes. However, from my journey of learning about the connection between mind and body, and especially the ways in which our mind dictates the feelings, behaviors, and results we see in our lives, I noticed that these "Simple 7" are not so simple at all. Four of the seven guidelines involve behavioral changes. Three of the seven can be addressed with pharmaceutical drugs but are also dependent on these behavioral changes in order to have maximum impact. These areas of behavior change - exercise, diet, weight loss, and smoking cessation - are typically the most challenging and frustrating for both patients and doctors in a preventive setting. Continue reading "AHA’s “Simple 7″…Not So Simple After All"

Is living really as simple as being open to change?

"Truth is living, and therefore, changing." - Bruce Lee
I read that the other day and it shifted my thinking. It hit me like the ring of truth. Could it really be that simple? That living is simply changing? I recalled that the first piece of information that drew me into the field of life coaching was Martha Beck's Change Cycle. It was simple, yet no one had ever presented life as a cycle of change - meaning a continuous circular flow, not a straight line pointing in one direction. I also loved the image of caterpillar turning into butterfly. I had read Trina Paulus' little yellow book, Hope For the Flowers, many times over the past fifteen years, and it always resonated with me as the truth. That within each of us, when we are born, is the potential to transform, to fly, to be beautiful. That it also takes a single act of courage on each person's part, at some point in their caterpillar life, in order to make that transformation possible. Here's an excerpt, paraphrased from Trina Paulus' book:
"How does one become a butterfly?" asked the caterpillar. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." "You mean to die?" asked the caterpillar. "Yes and No...Life is changed, not taken away. Isn't that different from those who die without ever becoming butterflies?"
Continue reading "Is living really as simple as being open to change?"

Something fun to think about…

I thought it fitting to comment on the movie "Inception" given that it's all about the mind, and the landscape of our consciousness. Hope you enjoy! Check out this "serious" video made while waiting in line for the movie!

TONIGHT – FREE coaching call for physicians-in-training

If you saw my guest post today on kevinmd.com, you might be interested in joining me TONIGHT, Tuesday, July 20, at 6:00pm Pacific Time, for a free coaching call. It's designed for medical students, residents, and fellows, because I want to start planting seeds in the early stages of training and mindset formation. But if you're a practicing physician and have an interest in the subject of self-care, please join me! More details on the call are available here. Can't make it? Send me an email and I'll send you a link to a recording of the call.

Closet cleaning day – the videos!

You might have seen my opening video blog on Friday before I started the all-day process of cleaning my closets. Here are the video highlights of my closet cleaning day....to see all 7 episodes, visit my youtube channel here.