Tag Archives: surprise

Empowering Your Self With Vision

Red yellow heart CROPPED

“How you see determines what you see, and what you feel.” – Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche

I’ve had a love-hate relationship with vision boards since the very beginning. My very first one was an assignment for the very first personal development workshop I attended. End of Day One, before we were to break for dinner, we had a few hours to make a board of what makes our heart come alive.

First vision board - Real Speaking

The second one I made was later that year with an ex-boyfriend on a retreat in Santa Cruz. It was my first beach weekend retreat since moving to California five years before. What had taken me so long?

Second vision board - Santa Cruz

Then I made another one that made me feel like crap, but I didn’t quite know why.

I kept up with vision boards for some reason. Maybe it was my determination to see if they would really work for me in my life. I was a total skeptic in the beginning, going through the motions like a good student, but not truly expecting anything to happen.

After several years of practice, now I know that when I approach them from a certain place within me, vision boards can invite in some real magic into my life.

I haven’t yet written about the latest example of how a vision board changed my life, and since I’m leading a vision board workshop next week, this seems like a good time to really tell the story in completeness. Continue reading

Be Careful What You Wish For…

Last year I made a vision board for who I am and how I feel when I express my creativity. I had devoted 2010 to my Core of Peace, and I was setting a new intention for 2011.

I didn’t know exactly HOW my creativity would be expressed. But by making the vision board I connected with images and words that captured how I knew it would FEEL to be in that place of expression.

I let go of the HOW, because I didn’t – and couldn’t – know at the time what the exact steps would be.

I breathed deeply into the feelings of my own creativity, and allowed images to attract me without needing an explanation or a meaning or a concept. They were just images that I loved, for no “reason” at all.

Here is the vision board I made:

I have it as the wallpaper image on my laptop, so every time I open my computer, the images enter my consciousness. Most days, I don’t sit and deliberately stare at every image on my screen, but I know they are there.

I haven’t thought about that vision board in many months. I have gone about the business of living, of staying in my Core of Peace, of letting some things go, and picking up other things, of planting seeds and watching them grow, all the while noticing that I cannot force growth to happen any faster than it already is.

Last night I looked at it again.

It was with a sense of amazement that I noticed how many of the images had actually come into my reality during 2011. In other words, my visions had come true! Continue reading

How to Kill Your Creativity…And Bring It Back To Life

Is your creativity dead?

I honestly believe that few of us – regardless of whether we work as “creatives” or not – intentionally set out to kill our own creativity.

We may just gently turn our backs on it, dismissing it as something reserved for children, or as something only “irresponsible” adults indulge in, or as a waste of time that could never serve a purpose in society (ie, getting paid money for it), or as something only “talented people” get to do.

I’m here to say that none of those is absolutely true.

Creativity is not limited to art…

So, let’s say you’re longing for a more creative life. That could mean anything from having more freedom and flexibility in your current job, to finding a way to support yourself while expressing your own creativity.

I don’t define creativity as being limited to “artistic” activities like painting, dancing, singing, or sculpting pottery. I define creativity as our innate human ability to connect with the unseen. By this definition, I see every human being as creative, by virtue of our brain’s ability to spontaneously form images that are only seen in our mind’s eye.

How you choose to use your creativity is a different story.

And this is where many of us have killed our own creativity, or least left it for dead. Continue reading

Solving the Puzzle of the Universe

A few days ago I solved the puzzle of the universe.

It came in a box. There were 500 pieces and a neat image of the final product – what the solution was supposed to look like.

I had a partner while I was doing it. We didn’t discuss how we were going to tackle the problem, we just started working on it, each in our own way. There were no words. Things just began when they began, and ended when they ended.

I noticed that I wanted to follow some instructions that were somewhere in the back of my head about “how to” solve a puzzle like this.

Start with the edges and corners,” was one set of instructions.

Find the colored pieces first,” was another.

I tried both of those, but the puzzle was just so big, so complicated, with so many parts, that I quickly got frustrated with each of those approaches. I made a tiny bit of progress, but immediately got stuck following those two paths. Continue reading

How To Be Exactly Where You Are

I love blog posts that start with “How To…”. They are always so promising, and hold the anticipation of a wrapped present under the Christmas tree, or a package arriving on your doorstep after your recent online purchase.

“Oh I can’t wait to open this! And finally SEE what’s inside!”

And, just like Christmas, just like opening that package that you ordered online, there’s that moment of not knowing, the moment of unveiling, the moment where your expectation rises to greet the present moment unfolding.

When it’s unveiled, we deal with the match between our heart’s desire – the image of what we hoped to see in that opening – and the reality right before our eyes. Is it everything you imagined? Is it “perfect” (meaning, does it match your idea of what you wanted)?

Or is it a letdown? An unfulfilled promise? A shattered dream? Continue reading

How does it FEEL to celebrate?

I’ve never really been good at celebrating my birthday.

There are a few birthdays in my life that I remember – one was my 6th birthday when I had a party at my house with my favorite girls from second grade, complete with musical chairs, Bozo buckets, a violin serenade by my brother, and hand-selected party favors for each guest. Another was my sophomore year in college, when my roommate totally surprised me by inviting over half a dozen or so of my best friends, who arrived with cake, balloons, and songs to sing. Yet another was in my twenties, when my brother procured tickets to see Itzhak Perlman and the Minnesota Orchestra, and my parents came into town to join us.

But when it has come to my really knowing how to celebrate myself, and knowing what I really have wanted to do on my birthday, I’ve mostly come up blank.

Now I know that it’s because I have been more focused on what it LOOKS like to celebrate than how it FEELS to celebrate.

What Celebrating Looks Like

In our image-obsessed culture, we can easily be led to believe that what we SHOW about our lives – how we make things appear – is actually more important than how we FEEL about our selves as we live our lives.

Even the lyrics to popular songs teach young girls what it means to “party in the USA” – “Welcome to the land of fame, excess, whoa am I gonna fit in?”.

Because feelings are often difficult to express in words, or not accurately captured by images, or perhaps don’t match up with the social pressure to perform and please, I have (perhaps like you) defaulted to suppressing the feelings, not bothering to connect with them, and making choices based on what will make me LOOK like I’m doing fine.

I did this without being conscious of it. It happened slowly, in small steps, over time, like any changes do. Continue reading

Or Else What? Finding Your Own Answer To Holiday Overwhelm

It seems to me that there’s this game we play around the holidays. We somehow feel obligated to replay the old tapes of the past, gathering together in the same ways, repeating the same “traditions”, whether or not they still work for us.

The result? A clenching of the jaw, a tensing of our shoulders, a knotted up feeling in our stomach, as we enter this “joyous” holiday season. Some of us might even roll our eyes without knowing it when we say the word “family”.

Since all the messages around us are shouting, “Peace! Joy! Love! Thankfulness! Giving!” we feel downright guilty about our deepest truth: we just don’t want to do the holidays the same way anymore.

That guilt gnaws at our energy for a good two months. We conduct our surface actions under the weight of the thought, “This is what I have to do.” So we suck it up. We buy our plane tickets, or get in our cars, battling the crowds of people who all seem to be happily going to visit family, but very well could be gnawing away inside too.

Or we buy the new sparkly red dress, the high heels, the purse, the whole deal. We show up at the party with all the people we don’t even like. We do it anyway. Why? Not exactly by choice, but because we think “we have to”.

Or else what?

When was the last time you questioned your own holiday patterns of action and so-called “traditions”?

When was the last time you gave yourself permission to even ask the question, “What do I want to do for the holidays?Continue reading

Waking Up To Love

Every once in awhile, I get completely jolted into awakening. It’s like the universe taking me by the shoulders, shaking me, and saying, “Wake up to your life. Look! Listen! Pay attention!”

Usually these moments happen exactly when I admit to myself that I just don’t know. When I completely surrender to not knowing, and just relax there, it’s my way of asking for guidance. I’m opening to the possibility of something waking me up.

Last Wednesday was one of those moments.

I dragged myself to another open mic at Angelica’s. After going every week for nearly six months now, I admit that sometimes it’s a bit of a chore to get myself there. But I do it because I know that playing music and seeing other musicians play – and frankly, the “you-never-know-who’ll-show-up” factor – will feed my soul in some way.

I even brought my computer this time, because I had been on a bit of a writing “roll” before I left the house, and thought I might pass the time by writing.

It was Game One of the World Series, with the San Francisco Giants playing. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. In other words, we didn’t expect peak attendance at that night’s open mic.

Well, it ended up being proof that quality far outweighs quantity. Continue reading